Cardinal Flower Vine

Becky and I had worked together for almost 20 years at various law firms before she took the job at GMU, which we agreed she could not turn down because it would allow her to spend more time with Paul and Matt and escape the big-law firm pressure on billable hours.  Technically speaking, I was Becky’s boss but we did not really have a hierarchal relationship and over the many years we worked together we became more like colleagues and friends. She credits me with being her mentor in how to practice law and navigate life in big law, but the truth is as with any good mentorship the relationship goes two ways and Becky mentored me as much as I mentored her in how to navigate life in general and keep focused on the things that matter most. She was one of the most decent, caring, intelligent and multi-talented people I know. She was able to keep an extraordinary calm under pressure, which is no mean feat in a high-pressure law firm.  She was a model of respect and inclusion and skillfully able to deflect inappropriate comments from certain senior partners (which cannot be repeated here).  Every client and lawyer enjoyed working with her and could not get enough of her time and intelligence.   I delighted from time-to-time in making her blush with my ribald sense of humor, which was not hard to do with a minister’s daughter.  In addition to our work at the firm, we played music together in our annual firm holiday consort, which we founded and, being traditionalists, we always made sure there were some classical numbers interspersed with the pop tunes.

We always talked about family, which was very important to both of us, and enjoyed sharing the exploits of our children.  Matt was much less risk adverse than my two children and wanted to fight fires and save lives – no desk job for him. She was immensely proud of him but, at the same time her protective maternal instincts made her nervous when he wanted to jump out of planes to fight forest fires.  Becky was also proud of the achievements of the athletes she coached at GMU, which was like a second family to her.   She was someone who lived and breathed the doctrine of “pay it forward” and was always thinking of others more than herself.

When Becky told me about the offer from GMU, we both knew she had to take it because it was professionally and personally perfect for her.  While I was sad about not being able to continue our work and conversations of the past two decades I was happy to see her charting a new and independent course that would allow her to have more family time and carpooling to work with Paul. I recall having to be interviewed about Becky by the federal investigative agencies evaluating her application for a security clearance and I told the interviewers that this was going to be the easiest background investigation that they had every done, which they later confirmed to be the case.  While Becky and I stayed in touch and shared professional and personal developments, it became more challenging after my move to Boston and when things became crazy busy during COVID.  Becky encouraged me to begin phasing down after 40 years of practice, which I took to heart and am now doing. Some wise person once told me that you never regret not having spent more time in the office—the true regret is not spending more of the limited time we have with family and friends.  I only wish I had stayed more in touch with Becky and been a better friend and mentor at the end, but I will always cherish the time we spent together and the conversations we had about life outside of the law. She will never be forgotten.

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